Satisfied?
by Shizukana-honoo
Summary: Being in a relationship with Reborn is even harder than it looks. Especially when he doesn't want to share the roles. How far is Colonnello willing to take it to convince Reborn to let him be the 'man' for once? Adults!R56, yaoi. Angst heavy later on
1. Satisfied?

**For any confusion on why everyone seems to be living in the same house, please refer back to my profile page. An explanation is there~**

* * *

><p>I couldn't recall how things turned out like this. It wasn't that I was complaining, but it was surprising. To have a guy like him, someone who's so much your rival that he's practically your best friend...to have him suddenly decide that, yes, he did in fact want to sleep with you; it was weird. But, goddamn, was he good.<p>

Lips locked, legs entwined, hands gripping desperately at each other's hair, we seemed like a messy, writhing ball of pure passion. Like one complete organism. I slid into his arms perfectly, my legs fitted around his just so, and our mouths connected as if they were made for each other. How had we gone so long without realizing it sooner? Oh, right, the girls... Man, those pesky women, always leading guys on like that... Guess it didn't matter much anymore, though. Now we had each other. All of that lead to this and that's all that was important. Though, it was kind of funny. Despite these thoughts in my head of how perfect we were for each other, we were never gentle or careful with one another. Oh, no. Even if we could be considered dating now, everything was still a competition. Some things never change, after all.

Wrestling around on the bed, tumbling and rolling, we were locked in some weird sort of fight, battling for supremacy. But, like always, I ended up losing. I wondered if maybe it was a subconscious thing. Like, I actually enjoyed being dominated by him. Maybe, secretly, I was some sort of masochist. Or maybe he was just really damn sexy. I leaned more for the latter. After all, that smirk of his, those smoldering eyes, the way his body moved and his hair stuck to his forehead in perspiration... And, oh, don't get me started on the way his body moved against mine. He had this knack of knowing just the right spots to touch, and used it to his advantage. Though, more often than not, he was more cruel with it than anything. But...I wasn't sure if that really it. After all, it shouldn't matter if he topped or not, nothing would really change! Right?

"Looks like I win again~" he smirked, pinning my hands down by my head. His legs also kept mine down, not allowing me to try to fight him off.

"I don't think you're being very fair with this, kora," I grumbled, glaring up at him.

"I'm being perfectly fair, don't be such a sore loser," he simply said, leaning down and trailing his tongue over my collarbone. "Though I suppose you can't help it, you'll be sore either way," he chuckled, his warm breath causing me to shiver. Didn't help that he let go of one of my hands, his fingers running down my back, their coldness creating a harsh contrast to my already flushed skin.

"U-ugh...why don't you ever let me top, kora?" I complained, something I did bring up a couple times before...but never in bed.

"I have to train Tsuna and do work. I can't be limping around all the time," he just mumbled into my jaw, before moving further down to my chest, his tongue and lips making patterns across my skin. "I've told you before. Stop whining about it," he added, lightly biting me as he did so.

Flinching a bit at the slightly painful, yet still somehow arousing nip, I put my free hand against his shoulder, giving a shove. "What about me, huh? I have training to do, too, kora!"

Pushing himself up, he narrowed his eyes at me, seeming more annoyed as his patience was beginning to diminish. "Your student isn't as important as Tsuna. And plus, no one will care if they see you holding your ass all day. I have standards to set, I can't be having people think I let some dumb blond fuck me. Now shut up, your killing the mood," he growled, sitting up a bit more, freeing my legs. "Also, because of that, you don't get any foreplay," he added, getting prepared to just start the main event.

However, I wasn't exactly willing to give at this point. I'm not sure why I decided to have a sudden rebellious streak. I guess I was at my limit of how much I was willing to be put down. Pulling my legs away as I sat up, I moved away from him, glaring. "No thanks, I'm not in the mood, kora," I mumbled.

Letting out a frustrated sigh, he leaned over, pushing my knees down, spreading them in the process. "Okay, fine. What do you want me to do, go down on you?" he offered, obviously not really serious about it...or at least so he sounded.

Eying him, I could feel myself heating up at just the thought of him doing that. Actually he had never done it before, much less offered. I could figure this was my chance. Or I could demand more, and stick to the desire to dominate him completely. But then, before I could make my decision, he added:

"Oh, but you'll have to do me, first."

"Hell no!" I snapped, closing my legs and turning away. "How should I know that you're just going to say you're too tired when I'm done and not do me at all, kora?"

"And same could be said for you!"

"Hey, hey, woah. I'm letting you fuck me for a blowjob. I didn't hear anything about me having to suck your dick, too!"

"I meant that you could easily still deny me whatever I want," he rolled his eyes. "Look, just...ugh, your stupidity killed my hard on. So get out, you don't have anything more in here to do," he said, already getting dressed. Glaring at him, I didn't budge...until he took his belt and whipped my thigh with it, luckily not using the buckle end. "I said get out."

Yelping a little from the pain, I jumped up, grabbed my clothes and hurried out before he decided that just leather was too soft for a whip. Hurrying down the hall, I entered the bathroom and let out a frustrated sigh of my own, stepping into the shower to wash the sweat and spit off me. I kind of regretted denying him now, actually. Not for any reason in particular...I just felt bad for making him mad. Sure, usually I made him mad all the time. But not this kind. This time it was a genuine 'pissed-off' feel he gave, which was rare considering how cool he usually was. That and I regretted it since I was still in the mood. Not completely, but enough that I couldn't help but get off while in the shower, thinking of what his submissive face would look like. I bet he was like Lal...blushing so much, denying it felt good, complaining about how horrible it felt, telling me to just hurry it up and get it over with... I wanted to see that side of him so bad. I wondered if there even was a way...

* * *

><p>It had been a couple weeks since I first denied him. And ever since, I had continued to evade his advances. He'd whisper in my ear all the things he'd do to me, but I'd just shove him away and continue doing my thing. He'd find me alone and start kissing me until I was against a wall or a counter or table. But eventually I would call it quits and make up an excuse to get away. Sometimes he'd just straight up tell me 'Let me fuck you, dammit!', but as stubborn as an ox I was, and I refused every time. To tell the truth, it was just as difficult for me as it was for him. Especially when he pulled the make-out card. A couple times he'd even go so far as to break into the bathroom while I was showering and try to get a quick one there. This was a little harder to get around, but so far a miracle has saved me each time, either in the form of Tsuna or someone calling for him on the phone. It was almost pitiable the steps he was going. He was getting so desperate. But I didn't feel too sorry. In fact, I felt quite powerful knowing I had this affect on him. And that feeling of power was what I clung to whenever I felt like I was losing to his charm. But...I wondered how long I could last. Or how much longer he was willing to keep this up before he decided to break off our relationship completely and just go back to women or other men. I was going to have to be careful.<p>

But, luckily, he was more loyal than I'd figure he'd be. While the kids were at school and everyone else besides me and him were gone doing errands, he approached me. But instead of trying to pull any moves, he just stood there and glared. "What the hell is wrong with you lately? Have you been seeing someone else? Have you gone back to Lal? Am I just not good enough for you?" he asked, getting more and more worked up until he finally grabbed my shirt front, pulling me to face him properly. "Just tell me, dammit! Or else I am through with you!"

Calmly, I looked back at him, meeting his furious eyes, and smiled. "Let me top, kora."

Hand trembling, he looked about ready to punch me. But then he just let me go and took a deep breath. "That's all I have to do."

"Yup. Just let me top at least once, kora."

"That's all this was about, all this time...?" he repeated, voice low, his fedora somehow making an even darker shadow than usual over his eyes.

"Pretty much, kora."

A few seconds past and the air felt thick and hot. But the next second, he straightened back up and sighed. "Fine. Let's just get this over with," he said, grabbing my hand and yanking me back up to his room.

Almost instantly as the door closed, he was on me, kissing, grabbing, stripping...and I was just the same, finally giving into the long-resisted lust I had of my own. We rarely broke for breaths and when we did, it was only for a split second, resorting us to panting in no time at all, the hot breath between us only making our conditions worse. Tripping over our feet and scattered clothes over to the bed, we fell on it together, as he willingly let me lay on top of him this time. But he still seemed a bit reluctant about it all in general.

"Don't treat me like a woman," he warned me, breathing heavily as I sat up and started to undo our belts.

"Don't worry. I'll treat you like you always treat me, kora," I replied, grinning slightly at the very faint glimmer of dread that crossed his features. Maybe then he would treat me a little nicer. Not that it was my intention, but it would be nice.

Once our belts were undone and the rest of our clothes were removed, I leaned over him, kissing his neck, leaving as many bite marks as I pleased, much to his complaint. Not that I listened. Oh, no. I was in control now. Moving down his neck, I licked and kissed over his chest, sucking on one of the pink buds there, my fingers tweaking the other.

"Agh, stop that! I said don't treat me like a girl!" he yelled, shoving me away, his face already rather red.

Smirking at the reaction, seeing his flustered face, I moved in more, this time catching his wrists and holding them to the bed. "But your body likes it, kora. Besides, I'm not treating you like a girl...I'm doing everything you've done to me, kora!" I explained, as I shifted a bit so that my leg rubbed against him, making him wince.

"This is really weird... C-can't you just get it all over with already?" he panted, not meeting my gaze.

"Come on, I'm the boss now, kora. I call the shots," smiling I leaned against him more, our bodies flush together as our lips met. Moving my hands so our fingers were entwined, I pulled them up over his head, my hips already moving without me thinking much about it.

"I-idiot...you forgot the lube, didn't you," he hissed into my ear, but despite the rough friction, I could tell from his heavy breathing that he was enjoying it as much as I was. Though he did have a point about the lube... Glancing to the bedside table, I reluctantly let go of one of his hands, but kept our mouths together in order to keep him from doing much anything as with my free hand I searched blindly for the bottle. "I-in the drawer," he whispered between kisses, his body moving against mine by now as well. "Hurry up...!"

Finding the bottle, I quickly drizzled some between us, not bothering to really get it rubbed together properly, figuring our grinding could spread it as need be. Picking up the pace once we could, we stayed in this position for a few minutes before he pulled away from the kissing, stopping his movements.

"Y-you aren't planning on doing this the whole time, are you?" he asked, arm draped over my neck as I had finally gave at least one of his hands back.

"No, I had other things planned, kora. Why? Don't you like this?" I asked, going back to nuzzling his neck, the scent of his sweat and cologne making me almost high with how much I loved it.

"I just don't want to get off by just this," he said, his breathing beginning to regulate a bit better by now. "It's boring."

"Fine," I sighed, pulling away. "What do you want, kora?" There wasn't a whole lot we could do...

"Well, if you're going to be fucking me, the least you could do to return the favour is blow me," he said, pointing downwards.

Which I wasn't pleased about. "Fuck no! You wouldn't give me one last time, kora! If anything, I should be telling you to suck me off!"

"That's only because you didn't take the offer! And like hell I'm going to be putting that thing in my mouth!"

"Then forget it, kora. Either do me and I'll do you, or we're going back to what we were doing before!"

"Ugh, why don't we just do it at the same time?" he suggested, great reluctance evident in his tone.

Wrinkling my nose in disgust, I reared back slightly. "Egh, no way, kora. I don't want my nose in your ass."

"Well, you want to put your dick in there so bad!" he crossed his arms, looking almost like he was pouting, which was something I never thought I'd see from someone like him. But damn it worked.

"Fine," I grumbled again, pushing him back into the bed. I didn't really do this all that often for him, only when we didn't have much time to go all the way. Before, I was always so lost in everything else that I never stopped and thought about the fact that I never received one from him yet. Guess it was kind of a wonder why I was so...in love with him.

Taking my time with trailing down his body with kisses and bites, I wasn't really looking forward to what he was making me do...but once I started, the noises he made made it worth it. I could even ignore the taste and texture in replacement of being able to make him moan like that. Probably helped that he wasn't ever one to make a lot of noise while we had sex. Guess he really was in need. Working away at him, I continued to take my time, one of my hands searching around him.

"U-unn... Y-you better n-not be thinking of t-touching me there," he panted, his voice broken from the pleasure.

But I didn't reply. Of course I couldn't really, my mouth being full and all. No, I was actually looking for something specific. I remember hearing about a spot you could hold onto, which kept you from reaching climax for however long you wanted. Believing to have found it, I continued moving my head, as I felt his hands grip my hair, urging me to speed up.

"Wh-what are you doing?" he asked after a minute or so more. "D-don't do that, you might hurt something! Just let me c-" cutting himself off as I quickly let go (having not realized there was a chance of hurting him doing that), and pulled away, he held a hand to his mouth, panting. Somehow, he hadn't hit climax after I had let him go, possibly due to some mental thing. "You bastard, don't try things like that without permission!" he yelled, kicking me in the gut.

Keeling over from the ferocity of the kick, I held my stomach, rather regretting having tried to pull such a stunt like that. Should have expected him to get mad... But I didn't really understand true regret until he took advantage of my downed state. As next I knew, I was face down on the bed, with him poised directly behind me, hands on my waist.

"There, your time's up for your fun. Now it's my turn," he leaned over my back, whispering in my ear.

"Hey, hey, wait! Wait, kora!" I cried, trying to turn around. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry, kora!"

But he had a good grip on me, and more or less ignoring my pleas, pushed himself in, at least taking the courtesy to not enter in one go. Biting on my lip as I felt him move in me, once he was in, I was able to finally manage words. Tears brimming in my eyes, I glanced over my shoulder at him. "Y-you bastard, Reborn... You aren't fair at all, kora...!"

"Nothing's fair, Colonnello. You should really learn that~"


	2. Want Some More?

I was still pretty peeved off at him, even though it had been a couple days-almost a week-since the incident. We had both gotten pretty busy with some mild family issues, plus training our students, leaving us with no chances to really get much time together. The most we could really manage was just stealing kisses behind people's backs, though he wasn't fond of it, since he wasn't really a tender-kisses type guy. Don't really know why, he always did it with Luce. Or, okay, yeah, maybe that's why. Frowning at this thought, I leaned my head back, closing my eyes, trying to drown the sound of everything else out. I wondered if I was even something to him…if I was just an object in his eyes, something he could use so he wasn't jerking off alone. Something to just fill the spot Luce left when she broke up with him. I wondered if I was doing the same thing to him because Lal left me. But then I thought, 'Nah. If that's all I was using him for, then that's all I would be using him for. I wouldn't be sweating this stuff if he meant nothing to me.'

Though I was soon broken from my contemplation by none other than the man of my affections, himself, coming into the livingroom.

"Oi, blondie, move your ass, you're taking up the whole couch," he said, smacking my thigh, prompting me to sit up and let him take a seat beside me. "Dame-Tsuna, don't you have schoolwork to do?"

Looking up from the game he was playing, Tsuna looked mildly surprised, possibly due to being pulled out of his game with no real warning. "Eh? I think I got it all done."

"Go double-check. And if you're lying, it's training time."

"But you said today we could take a bre—"

"And I can change my mind. Now go check," he said, pointing to the stairs, glaring at the stubby kid. Who shot him a glare of his own and stalked off.

Once no one else was in the living room, the suited man looked about ready to take a nap. However, I figured this was my chance and wouldn't let him do such a thing. Instead, I cuddled up to him, snaking my arm with his, pulling him towards me so that our lips pressed together. Though he soon pulled away.

"Hey, not when people can see."

"Come on, we hardly get any time together, kora! What's so bad about kissing? Are you afraid of people thinking you're one of those fruity gays or something, kora?" I protested, tugging at his arm.

"No, I just don't think it's appropriate in front of others," he growled at me, trying to pull his arm away.

"But people already know about us! If you don't show at least _some_ affection, they're going to think you're some pervert who's only sleeping with me because you're a pervert, kora!"

"Like I care if people think that."

"Then it shouldn't be such a big deal! It's just a kiss, kora!" I complained, pushing him back against the arm of the couch. I knew I was pushing the limit, any moment now I was going to missing a few teeth, I could sense it.

"God, you are such a woman! I'm too tired to do anything right now; I want to take this day off just as much as the rest of us. Now shut the hell up already."

"I'm not asking you for sex, jesus, kora! I just want a kiss, and I'm not going to shut up until I get it!" And with that, I let go of him and cupped my hands around my mouth, bellowing to the rest of the house, "Hey, wanna know why Reborn prefers using guns, has a fancy car, and is such a huge dick, kora? He's totally compensa-"

"Oi, I said shut up!" he suddenly yelled out, tackling me off the couch. Grappling with him, we rolled on the floor a little, though with the lack of room between the couch and the coffee table, we couldn't do much, and no matter what I was underneath him. "Don't go spreading lies like that, idiot!"

"What, it is true, kora! Mine is longer!"

"Don't you know girth is more important than length?" he growled, pinning my hands down like he so liked to do, our noses practically touching as he leaned over me. "Yours is like a stringy pasta noodle, limp and weak."

"Oi, oi, it ain't limp!" I protested, quite put out by his insult, not really meaning to make it sound like I was turned on right now. But of course, he caught it and an evil sort of smirk spread over his face.

"Oh? Let's check, then, shall we?" he hummed, letting of one of my hands to undo my pants. In just a few seconds, he had access to my underwear which he pulled down, revealing that I wasn't quite hard...but slowly arousing. "Oh, look. See? As flaccid as a newborn's," he noted, running his fingers over it, causing it to twitch and grow as I blushed deeper.

"H-hey! N-not right her-!" Starting to protest him touching me out where everyone could see, he suddenly leaned down, catching me in a kiss as his hand wrapped around me completely. Melting into the kiss and stiffening at the touch at the same time, I wrapped my free arm around his neck, pulling myself more into him. Hah, I guess I did miss him more than I thought I did. I didn't even care about being caught anymore. Not that anyone could really tell what we were doing, we were both dressed and either side of us was hidden by furniture.

Letting go of my other hand, which I started to move to hold onto the back of his neck, Reborn pulled away slightly. "Hey, what are you doing? You think I'm just going to jack you off without anything in return?" he grumbled into my neck, complete with his usual bite.

"U-ugh, fine, kora," I sighed, shakily undoing his belt with my free hand, eventually revealing his hardened member. Hah, he was already so turned on by this? What a pervert. Mentally chuckling to myself, I wrapped my fingers around him, soon matching our rhythms, making him give a soft moan into my neck as I bit my lip. I didn't really get why he was willing to do something like this in public, but refused little pecks on the lips...but right now, I guess I didn't really care. It felt so good; Reborn rarely touched me in such a way. I didn't even care when I heard Tsuna start coming back downstairs, saying:

"Yeah, I finished all my homewor-...um. A-actually I forgot to do math." And then run back to his room.

"Nnn...R-Reborn, I'm g-gonna..." Panting, I could barely manage out any warning between our kisses, though he suddenly stopped and looked up. About to start moving my hips against his hand to continue on my own, Fon's voice broke through my senses, telling me that there was a reason the hitman had stopped.

"Oh, I'm sorry, I didn't realize you two were...having a moment here," he said, holding a sleeve-covered hand over his mouth as he stepped back. "Th-though you know you both have your own rooms..." he mumbled, not looking at us anymore as his face started to redden as well.

"Yeah, but our rooms are all the way upstairs. Sometimes the moment just calls for immediate action," Reborn coolly replied, as if there was nothing awkward about this whole situation at all. He didn't even look all that flushed. It kind of irritated me. Though trying to make him have a reaction was a bad idea, as his nails dug into my skin, making me nearly yell if I hadn't bit my lip again.

"I...I suppose I understand..." the Chinese man murmured, taking another step back. "M-my apologies for interrupting, then," he bowed, and walked off at a brisk pace.

Waiting for a door to close to signal that we were alone again, Reborn then glared down at me. "What was that for? Trying to make things more awkward for him? You know Fon's already uncomfortable about sex, especially between men," he grumbled, letting me go completely. "For that, you have to suck me off," he said, pulling himself back onto the couch, motioning to his crotch.

"Hell no, kora!" I denied, like always, following him back onto the couch. "You always demand that, and you never give me anything in return! Either suck me off, too, or I'm just going to keep using my hand only, kora," I said, crossing my arms.

"Fine, you big baby. You have to clean up afterwards, and don't get anything on my clothes," he grumbled, pulling me forward in another harsh kiss, his hand already getting to work, his other fingers tangled in my hair.

Gasping at the ferocity of his actions, it took me a second or two to manage to collect myself enough to follow suit. Though remembering the order to get nothing on his clothes, I stopped and pulled off my jacket, the action only arousing me more, in all honesty. Once it was off, I shifted so I was almost sitting on his lap, taking him up in my hand once more finally. Though soon I found myself at my limit again and my motions on him slowed as I started to focus on the pleasure he was giving me instead. "H-haa...Reborn..." Groaning into his mouth, my body seized up for a couple seconds, as waves of pleasure ran through me, making me feel almost delirious.

"Looks like I win," he murmured, wiping his hand on the jacket I had laid between us.

"H-huh? Wh-what do you...?" still trying to catch my breath, I looked up at him through half-lidded eyes.

"It was a contest and I won. I made you cum first, meaning I give the best handjobs," he said, matter-of-factly. Then jerked his hips and raised his brow at me, motioning for me to continue my part. "Actually, as loser, you have to go down," he whispered in my ear, pushing my head. And I was too tired to really put up a struggle at this point. Shifting again so I was laying down, I got to work, with him holding my head as always. "And no doing what you tried last time," he warned me, struggling to keep back any moans. Luckily it wasn't too long, and soon enough I had him gripping the cushions of the couch, face pressed into them, a muffled slurry of 'fuck's being moaned into the pillows. Though having my mouth filled with the salty, bitter stuff was hard to really consider putting him in such a state worth it. Especially since he held my head and wouldn't let me spit it out, forcing me to swallow it.

"You're so cruel, kora," I whimpered, zipping up my pants and hurrying into the kitchen to wash out the taste.

"That's what you get for being a punk," he replied, having recovered quickly like always, and followed me into the kitchen. Though while I was drinking, I guess he thought it would be funny to smack my hip, which caused me to jump in surprise, and in a chain reaction made me spill my water down my front and simultaneously choke on it. Coughing and spluttering, I glared at him, but he just chuckled back at me. Though he did pat me on the back and got me another cup of water to help me recover. "You're such a drama queen," he laughed lightly over my misfortune as I took some deep breaths to calm myself. "It wasn't _that_ surprising."

"It is when you're used to associating that sort of thing into moving out of the way, kora!" I retorted, leaning over the sink now.

"Lal really did treat you that bad, huh? You masochist," he smirked again, clapping me on the shoulder before pouring himself a cup of coffee and returning to the kitchen.

Masochist, huh? Was that really it? Did that make him a sadist? Did he just stay with me to torture me? It might make sense, seeing how he never wants to do what I want. How he never wants to show affection for me. How he never sees more as anything more than that annoying blond guy who's only good for an easy fuck. With these thoughts in my head, the question that I had always tried to not think about began to crop up again, and I found myself trailing after him. This was it. I was going to ask him. We never exchanged those words (once I did, if I could remember it right, but he was either asleep or I passed out before hearing a reply), and we never really looked like we were dating. The day we decided to be a couple was probably the only time Reborn ever willfully kissed me softly in front of everyone, and after a couple questions it was decided that we were dating. Not that we ever went out together, or did anything together besides screw. So this time...this time I wasn't going to let him get away without a full answer.

Sneaking up behind him, I wrapped my arms around his waist, pressing my face into his back. "Hey, Reborn... Do you love me, kora?" I asked, my voice soft and hesitant. I could feel him tense up slightly in my arms, but before he could say anything, a voice came from the stairs.

"We pulled straws and I got the short one. I heard something scary was happening here, is it safe to come down now?" came the rather innocent voice of none other than Takeshi, my student.

"Mm? Oh, yeah, it's safe," Reborn simply replied, taking a sip of his coffee before peeling my hands off of him and shoving my jacket into my arms. "Better wash that before it stains," he said, starting to walk away.

"Hey! You didn't answer my question, kora," I called out, catching his sleeve. "Just a yes is fine, you know! I'm not telling you to give me a huge essay!" But still, he was silent and just pulled his arm away. Letting him go, I blinked a couple times, realization dawning on me about what his silence meant.

"It's complicated," he replied after a second or two more as the others returned, looking quite relieved. "Now's not the place to talk about it."

"So you don't..."

"Do you love me?" he asked, again, taking another drink as he glanced at me.

I don't know why, but for some reason I stopped breathing at this question. Probably because...I didn't have an answer. I wanted to say 'I do!', but...did I really? If he didn't love me, then what reason did I have to love him? Narrowing my eyes, I looked away, hands clenched to fists beside me, one squeezing my jacket tightly. "You don't really give me a reason to...kora," I whispered, once I found my voice again. Then with that, I turned on my heel and stalked off to my room, my chest feeling like it was stuck in a vice. I didn't stick around to see what his reaction was. I was scared to see him not react at all. 'He didn't love me, he didn't love me...' Those words echoed in my head as I sank onto the bed. I was nothing to him, just a sex toy. For two months I'd let myself be toyed around with him like that... I couldn't believe what an idiot I really was. After what happened with Lal...I shouldn't have been so ready to accept someone else. I should have been more guarded.

I really was such an idiot.


	3. Are You Done Yet?

"_Do you love me, Reborn?"_

What an idiot. Honestly, who could love someone like him? It would take a really stupid sort of person to even want to be with him at all. The only sort of good thing about him was his body; that perfectly toned physique. Those muscles, those abs, that ass… Years of training and being in the military sure turned him into one sexy man. If only his brain was as well-toned as his legs. Sometimes a lobotomy for him was really tempting. But then again, if he were a vegetable, he wouldn't be able to do much besides lay there, and that was boring after a while. And you don't come by his sort often enough. So for now, I had to just deal with his stupidity and 'feelings' until that bored me as well. After all, if I had to tell the truth, as much as I hated how idiotic he was, it was both amusing and entertaining. You couldn't really expect what stupid thing he would do next, which I suppose I had to credit him for. It kept things interesting.

Though this turn of events, I could do without. There was only so much idiocy I could take before I snapped. Especially when said idiocy came from myself.

_"Do _you _love_ me_?"_

Really, now. I was being as stupid as him.

It felt like a proposal, the way he said it. It was like he wanted to go steadier than we were. Like he wanted to tie the knot or some absurd thing like that. How could I agree to such a thing? Being tied down was the thing I hated the most. I got bored fast, and being stuck to one person forever was the most boring thing in the universe, next to watching paint dry. And even then, you could always watch paint with someone else. So to tell him 'I love you' would not only be a lie, but it would force me into staying with him for eternity. That was how it worked with guys, right? You didn't marry, you just say 'I love you' and that's your vow to being together. Done and done. …At least, that's the way I did things.

Sighing, I looked up from my laptop, narrowing my eyes at the sounds coming from the next room over. Either Tsuna had Gokudera over again, or someone was rearranging their room. Actually, considering the volume of the noise, it sounded like it was coming directly beside my room. Which meant it was coming from Colonnello. For a moment, there was a certain sense of dread in my chest. Not the sort of dread of him suddenly becoming a home decorator, however. As scary as that was, there was something much scarier in mind. Closing my laptop, I stood and swept out of my room, none of my inward worries showing on my perfected poker face.

"Colonnello, what are you doing in there?" I knocked on the door, stopping the sounds from inside for a moment before it started again.

_"Do you love me, Reborn?"_

How long ago had he asked me that? Two weeks? One? It felt like forever, accentuated by my ever building frustration. I wondered why I didn't just go look for someone else after all this time. Could it be that's what he's doing now? It was weird...hesitating like this. I wasn't scared of seeing him screw someone else! In fact, I would be happy if he did! That meant...that meant I could go out and find someone else! But why was I still so nervous? God, why was I being so stupid right now?

"Oi! Did I tell you you could come in, kora?"

Breathing an inward sigh of relief to find everyone in the room fully clothed, I stepped in the rest of the way and eyed the open suitcase on the bed. "What's this?" I asked, motioning to the open drawers and general mess all over the floor. It looked like his bookshelf had fallen over and spilled its contents all over the room. But instead of an answer, the blond just returned to his work. "Hey, I'm talking to you. What's going on?"

"Fon didn't tell you?" he murmured, now that I had him pulled up to my face by his collar.

"Tell me _what_?" I growled, tightening my grip. I haven't really talked to Fon much at all, really. He'd taken over watching Tsuna for me lately, and always looked too tired to bother most of the time.

"...I'm moving out, kora," came the whisper after what felt like forever.

For a moment, my expression faltered. Somehow, I don't know how, but this was worse than I anticipated. Why, though? It wasn't like he was going back to England, or Italy, or America or anything. He'd just be in the city. In fact, it meant I didn't have to deal with his stupidity every single day! But why did I feel so cold right now...?

"Idiot," I grumbled, letting him go with a shove. "Why do something like that? You get free room and board here. You have instant access to your student! Why would you decide to waste money on an apartment or hotel room or whatever? Unless you're going to move in with Lal?" I asked, my tone suddenly growing way darker. Much more than I intended.

"Tch, hell no. I don't want to listen to her and Luce all night," he grumbled back, shoving more clothes into his suitcase.

"So you're going to live by yourself. Again: _why_."

Here, he paused again, glaring downwards. "The fact...that you haven't realized it yourself is the perfect reason, kora," he murmured again, shoving the case closed finally.

"Now, hold on a minute here," I said, stepping up and catching his wrist so that he would face me. "You've been avoiding me for the past two weeks, then suddenly you spring this shit on me. What the fuck is wrong with you? What the hell! Is this all because I wouldn't let you ruin my reputation by fucking me? God, you say not to treat you like a woman, and then you go and act like one in every possible way!" By now, I had very clearly lost any resemblance of calmness I had. Usually I didn't care what other people thought of things I did. I did something, they dealt with it, and that was that. Negative, positive, they were all the same. People come and go. I don't know if I was still affected by Luce's leaving me or not. But the thought of not waking up each morning to the idiot's snoring was... No, I was getting too soft. Was I getting attached? I couldn't be. I couldn't afford it! I was a hitman, he was a soldier. We both could be called out to fight and, or die any second. There was no time or room for relationships!

"See, that's what I mean! You don't treat me like an equal at all, kora! And until you do, then I'm not going to live in the same house as someone as you!" he yelled, cutting into my thoughts before grabbing his case and storming out of the room.

Watching him go, the inner walls of my hardened shell started to crack. It took everything in me to not run out there after him, apologizing, begging for him to stay, pleading that he kisses me once more. Because those were stupid things to do. Because I didn't love him, they were stupid, useless things to do. But if I didn't love him, then why did my chest hurt? If I didn't love him, then why did I want to do those things so badly? If I didn't love him, then why did I keep having to tell myself that I didn't?

I really was an idiot.

Shaking my head, I sank on his filthy, messed up bed, pinching the bridge of my nose. I laughed. Of course we would see each other again! He had a student to take care of! And his student lived here with me. There would be no choice for him to come here! Plus, this city was so small. There was really no way someone could avoid another person without becoming some sort of reverse stalker. And Colonnello was nowhere near that level of intelligence.

Aha, I'd been spending too much time with that idiot. It had rubbed off on me.

"Oh...I suppose I should have figured from all that yelling..." Looking up quickly, I wished I hadn't left my hat in my room for Leon to sleep on. I could use some shade to hide any possible redness in my eyes. "...I'm sorry I didn't tell you sooner... I..." falling silent, the Chinese man looked away, his sleeve hiding his lower face.

With a sigh, I stood back up and patted his shoulder as I passed him by. "Doesn't matter. It's not like we broke up or-" Cutting myself off, I stopped and blinked. So that was it. That's why it hurt so much. It wasn't that he was leaving that I was worried that I wouldn't see him again. It was that, by my standards, this was the same as a divorce. A break-up. Colonnello had moved on...without me. Clenching my fist and jaw, I bowed my head, any sadness now melting into anger. Only I could move on without others! Only I could leave behind a trail for someone else to clean up! How dare he do something like this to me!

"R-Reborn."

Holding myself back to keep from punching in Fon's face, I turned to him, sober once more.

"He really does love you, you know. But he's like a child when it comes to this sort of thing: lost and confused. Lal was his first love, and what happened with that left him with no idea on how things are supposed to go. So...I think it would be best, if you tried to win him back," he smiled softly, reassuringly.

"And what good would that do?"

"Show him love in return. I understand, that's not exactly your style, but-"

"But nothing," I snapped, stalking over to my bedroom door. "Showing love would only delude him into thinking I loved him back. And doing that would only hurt him more when the truth comes out!" Closing the door with a snap, I dropped myself on the bed, arm over my eyes. My head hurt, my chest hurt, my eyes hurt... I didn't want to think anymore. Colonnello was leaving, Fon was trying to get us back together again, and I didn't want that. None of it! Tch, why couldn't that blond dunce just...be happy with what I gave him, instead of demanding more? You really could never tell what moronic thing he was going to do next...

* * *

><p>A week. It had been a whole week since he moved out. Instead of coming over to train Yamamoto, he simply called and took the boy out to the cliffs to do training there. And I seemed to have misjudged the size of the city, that even when I went off to go do my jobs, I couldn't find the man anywhere. Of course, I knew where he moved to: a cheap, almost slummy apartment where every night you at the risk of being broken in. But it wasn't like I could go there and see him. That would show weakness! It would show that I cared about him more than I did! But, I… Did I miss him? Sometimes after a hard day's work, without thinking about it, I would find myself sitting in his empty room. Just sitting there. Possibly trying to breathe in the last of his scent, though God knows why, the man stank like a pig. I don't know how long I would sit there for, until I would come to my senses and scold myself for being such a sentimental sap. I don't know how long I have to keep telling myself that I didn't miss him until my body accepted what my brain was telling it to do. I don't know how much longer this could go on for until I forgot about him completely.<p>

"Reborn, may I speak to you for a minute?"

Snapping my head up at the sound of Fon's voice, I realized I was in Colonnello's room again. I didn't remember walking there…no, I never remembered coming in here when I did. "What is it?" I asked, standing up, trying to play my confusion off as nonchalantly as possible. But the man just silently walked away, heading into his own room down the hall. Once I followed him and closed the door, he turned to me, his previous expression of mild concern now rather angry.

"I'm sorry to say this, Reborn. …But frankly, you're being a coward."

Freezing in place, only my eyes narrowed at the man. Which he took as a cue to continue.

"You're running away from your real feelings. I understand, you have a reputation, you don't want commitment, you don't want to look like you're weak, you don't want to be associated with someone like him… But face it! Almost every day I find you sitting in that room looking absolutely heart-broken! You're being nothing more than a love-struck coward, too scared to fix the mistakes you made and wanting them to mend themselves on their own!"

"I am not a love-struck coward! I don't give two shits about him and I never have!"

"Then tell me what you're always doing in his room, then?"

Turning sharply on my heel, I gritted my teeth and adjusted my hat to hide my eyes. "…I'll show you who's a fucking coward," I growled after a second or two before storming out of the room. Coward, my ass!

Though twenty minutes later, I started to wonder if maybe Fon had something going with that whole coward thing. Even though I considered myself one of the bravest people I knew, there was a certain sense of dread around me as I stood in front of his door, waiting for him to answer my knock. Maybe I could make him think a kid was pulling a prank on him. Ring and ditch or whatever it was called. But before I could, the door unlocked and he swung it open. For a moment, he stared in surprise, not saying a word…until I shoved the bouquet I brought to him.

"What the hell…? Is this some sort of joke, kora?" he snapped, ignoring the flowers pressed against his chest.

"No. It's a present."

"It's a _girly_present! And I'm not a girl, kora! No guy would want fucking flowers as a present!"

"Look, you insensitive prick," lowering the bouquet, I grabbed his jacket front with my free hand, pulling him close once more. "Just accept the damn gift for its fucking meaning instead of getting all _machismo_on my ass." Shoving him away, I threw the flowers at him again, and strode off. Tch, I should have gotten him something cheap like pansies. Yellow and red tulips, red roses…what made me think he would understand their meanings? Pansies meant the same thing; they were just so much cheaper. Plus he was a pansy. So that would have been an added bonus!

"That was a good start, Reborn. Though you should have expected that reaction from him."

"You followed me?"

"Of course. How else would I have been able to see you stop being a coward?"

"Tch…"

"Try again in a couple days, alright? He should soon realize what you're trying to say. Don't give up," he smiled, patting me on the shoulder as he started on our way back home.

* * *

><p>I wasn't so sure about this. It was like I was courting another man who I had already bedded many times. I saw no purpose, no reason. My skills as a suave gentleman were being wasted on some punk soldier, who on his days off would be found sitting in front of his apartment cleaning his guns with a can of beer by his side. I didn't even know he drank. Though luckily, the few times I came over he was never drunk. Otherwise he might have shot me if I gave him a present he didn't like. It certainly was difficult, choosing a gift he'd approve of. I gave him the fanciest chocolates I could find, a pure white-gold chain for his dogtags, a bottle of wine, a bottle of expensive beer, a new bandana, a gun cleaning kit… I was running out ideas of what other possible things he could like. I was on my breaking point. All this lovey-dovey crap I was going through and he continued to stick his nose up at me. If it weren't for Fon constantly giving me hell about getting Colonnello back, I would have just gone to the nearest brothel every night instead of trying to figure out a way to crack into the idiot blond's head.<p>

"I think I see your problem," Fon spoke up, looking up from my laptop he was borrowing. I gave a noncommittal grunt in reply, not bothering to lift my head from the kitchen table. "You're still treating him like an object. It says here that gifts are fine…but they can't be the only thing used to win someone over. What you are doing is treating him like something you can buy. Which means you should ask him o—"

"Fuck that, I give up."

Sighing, Fon patting my head comfortingly. "Just once, alright? If he still doesn't see your efforts, then…well, there's no hope for him anymore. So go on, take him out to dinner or something tonight. I'll watch the kids."  
>Leaning just my chin on the table, I studied the man's face for a moment and sat back up. "Just this once…" I grumbled, standing up.<p>

After washing up and making myself look as presentable as possible, I headed out to that moron's apartment to find him once more sitting outside his door. Though he wasn't cleaning his guns. He didn't even have them with him. Not even his usual can of beer was there. He was simply leaned forward, arms against his knees, staring out to the city, a blank expression on his face. He didn't even budge when I stepped up beside him.

"Hey, what do you want to eat for dinner?" I asked bluntly.

"…Would you be sad if I killed myself, kora?" he whispered, still not looking at me.

Needless to say, this question brought upon many sudden feelings, several of which I was unfamiliar with, and a few that I knew all too well. I didn't know how to respond, or react. So I just went with the one I was the most familiar with.

"Idiot! Don't you dare say things like that!" I yelled, smacking the back of his head with my palm. Thinking about it, if he was contemplating suicide because of how I treated him, this was probably the stupidest thing anyone could ever do.

"Takeshi was telling me about it…" he continued, as if there was no interruption, as if I had just stayed silent the whole time. "He said that it was one of the most…it was like he figured out a math problem perfectly, that the answer felt right. The most right an answer could possible get, kora. Like there's no other answer the question could have. I think…I think I know what he means, kora…"

My blood ran cold. "What the fuck? Colonnello, this isn't funny! Stop your playing around already, this isn't the thing you joke about!"

"Did I say I was joking, kora?" he murmured, finally looking up at me, his eyes as expressionless as his face. Then, before I could snap out of my surprise, he stood and went inside, closing the door behind him.

"Colonnello!" Returning to my senses, I grabbed at the handle, to find he'd locked it. "Colonnello, let me in!" Pounding, yelling, I could hear the blood rush past my ears as my heart raced with panic. When was the last time I felt this scared? This uncontrolled? Grabbing Leon off my shoulder, I shoved his lock pick form into the keyhole, my hands shaking too much to even get it in right. "Colonnello, unlock this door right now!" I called out again, throwing my entire body against the wood. But still is held strong. Though suddenly, I stopped, the roaring in my ears replaced with ringing as I heard the unmistakable sound of a gun firing. For several seconds I was frozen yet again. I wanted to run away, I didn't want to see it. But maybe it was a fake gun? Used only to scare me? What if this was one of his usual pranks? What if it was just from one of the neighbors?

I decided to take the chance.

Giving up on everything else, I grabbed Leon again, who turned into my usual handgun, and blasted the handle off the door. Adrenaline pumped through my veins as I stepped over the threshold, the place just as messy as I expected. But I didn't pay any attention to my surroundings. "Colonnello!" Calling out again, I raced through the tiny apartment, turning down a short hallway, which lead to the sitting room. Which was where I stopped, my eyes wide in horror.

"No…no. No, no, no, no, NO!"

I screamed.

Gripping my hair, I screamed in pain as I stared at his limp form, lying in a pool of blood, the wall and couch splattered with his remains.

"You idiot! You idiot! I'm sorry, okay? I'm sorry! I was trying to tell you I was sorry!"

When was the last time I cried this hard? When was the last time so much of me hurt at once?

"I do love you! That's what you wanted to hear, wasn't it? I love you, I'm sorry, please don't g—"

I wondered how many times I could be taken by surprise before my heart gave out. For as I crawled over to his lifeless form to just hold him until he went cold…I found he was already cold. And stiff. Like he'd been dead for hours. But, that wasn't possible. Turning him around, I scrambled back, slipping in the blood, his faceless body staring back at me. No sound came from my mouth. I wasn't sure if I was relieved or pissed off. Especially as there were footsteps behind me.

"So…you do love me, kora?"

Clambering to a stand, I turned to him, trembling, my face still wet and streaked with tears. Once more, the only reaction I could muster together was anger. "You…you bastard…" But even then I could barely manage that. I was already so vulnerable.

"I'm sorry, Reborn…" His arms wrapping around me, I leaned my face against his shoulder, my arms limp at my sides.

"I hate you, you bastard… Don't do that again…" I sobbed, trying to gather myself, but failing. For so long, I was collected, never showing sadness or remorse. For so long, all those feelings were pushed down and hidden behind a dam. And now that dam had been broken and all those emotions that had been suppressed were now spilling out faster than I could stop them. Letting Colonnello lead me to the armchair, we sank down onto it together, him still holding me, while I continued being a completely mess. For what felt like hours we stayed there, until I was able to pull myself together.

Pushing myself up to a proper sit, I cleared my throat, turning my face away, only for him to make me face him again as he cleaned the tears away. "Now I've seen all your faces, kora," he smiled, gently pressing his lips against mine. I didn't realize how much I had missed that. "And each one is still really handsome… …I missed you a lot, kora. I'm sorry I put you through so much."

"Tch…" What more could I say?

"Did you miss me, kora?"

"No, I only gave you thousands of presents because I wanted you to never see me again. Idiot," I growled, pushing him back into the chair in a much deeper kiss…

* * *

><p>I nearly forgot how perfectly our lips locked together, how sweet his skin tasted despite the saltiness of his sweat, how his breathy moans accentuated my own pleasure… No wonder I never wanted to go to someone else. I was worried that it wouldn't compare. As we lay there panting from our excursion, his head resting against my chest, I let myself smile. I really had missed him. I suppose I would have to find a way to thank Fon for his insistence that I work on winning the idiot back. Though speaking of…<p>

"What gave you that idea to pretend to kill yourself, anyway?" I asked, looking down at the blond cuddling against me like the girl he claimed he wasn't like.

"It was Fon's idea, kora. He helped me set it up," came the sleepy reply.

"Fon?" …So much for thanking him. With words, that is. A fist to the face sure sounded like a nice way to 'thank' him. "Ugh…should have expected. You aren't smart enough to have thought of that all on your own," I chuckled.

"Hey! I keep telling you, be nicer, kora!" he protested, sitting up to glare at me.

"Oh, hush. This is as nice as I'm getting. A mean me would have shot your stupid head to keep you dead," I smiled, kissing him lightly again. "But next time you decide to turn into a bitch, warn me, okay? Direct confrontation would have worked much better than going through all this."

"Maybe…but this way, the sex is way more satisfying, kora," he grinned, which was something I suppose I had to agree with.

"Still, remember it for future reference. Ugh, it's so late…I haven't eaten at all today," I groaned, pushing him off me and rolling out of the bed to get dressed.

"Hey, next time, I get to top, alright?" he said, bouncing out the bed to dress himself as well.

Of course, I punched him.

Then I took him out for dinner.

What can I say? I'm a romanticist.


End file.
